after a break

so long time since I last wrote here. School is over now, I only have a few exams and I'll finally be graduated. This is really scary, leaving school after 8 years, but it's good at the same time because I can leave my stupid classmates who always ignore me and who caused me those bad memories. My parents found out I'm sick/getting sick. My mom made me change my room and my bad habits like sitting in fron of my laptop for many hours...she thought it helped but it didn't help me at all, I still feel lost and messed up...then she took me to a psychiatrist ( well, I wasn't forced to go, but I thought why not? it can't be any worse) Vut I was wrong...it just made me feel even worse. She was talking about anorexia and asking me about how I'd describe my eating disorder, she absolutely made me feel like a fool and she wanted my parents to be in the room too, so it was embarassing as well.  and I refused to go back after few appointments. I'm gaining weight, not too much, but I got my period fully back :/ (why am I even writing it down?) but I really don't wanna gain back all the weight. Still wanna be skinny, but maybe I wanna be happy and balanced a little more. thans for reading