My Story

Well, I'm an 18 years old girl. I know I should have something like: I live in xy, I'm a funny girl, i like dolphins, etc. But no! My life is so not simple, actually very complicated. How can I start? I want to be honest, cause a fake blog makes no sense.... Well: It started in elementary school. I hated it so much, I was the nerd one, and my only friend used to hang out with other girls. But I think I'm kinda over it. But in high school me and my best friend became the victims of some very cruel, especially mental terrorising, we can call it bullying but to be honest I'm so tired of this overused word.. We were the fat, ugly nerd ones. They would laugh at us, be mean to us,  and never invited us to any parties. I was just sitting at home, with a permanent headache, and I wasn't able to sleep well. Internet and music became my best friends. I cried in my room every day and nobody helped me! If you have never been in this situation you can't understand it! But i don't wish it to anyone! After my 17th birthday I got fed up with my weight, my whole body and i started dieting.I couldn't concentrete on anything else than not eating. And i lost much weight but still not enough. I can't stop! And when i saw that I'm still not skinny enough i wanted to punish myself. And I did. I hit myself, and cut. When I see blood i felt that i succeed. Teribly sick, but it's the truth  It's not as difficult as people think. Nobody knows about it, only one teacher who realized I was confused. I told her everything and she helped me go to a psichologist. He helped, but then he left school, i didn't go to another one, and I started everything again...I wish i could finish with some positive message, but no, I just hope something will happen or somebody will happen! It would be much better living with a less sensitive heart. And I'd like to  say to other young girls that: Please be different from me! Ask for help. SAVE MY SOUL