mom made me buy that stuff to get my original hair color again. now it's NOT the original but near...I ate too much cake on Saturday and too much fish for lunch today. My best friend told me that my new jeans make my tights look slimmer which I highly need...she is right, but it hurted, but i didn't show her it did. Wanna workout today but I'm too tired, maybe i will tho. I hate math!!I hate that I'm so dumb at it. and I history too, so boring. I hate school! and lol at my grandma who judges me behing my back to my mom... saying i should treat my dad better! are u kidding? so unfair..

only 1 meals a day in the last days/weeks...i tried to make myself vomit today after eating in Mc, but i couldn't....and after in the bathroom I couldn't eighter, what's wrong with me? :/ 2 days without cutting after the hips-harming day and I gotta look somehow or my P.E lesson tomorrow....my stomach hurts like hell, but i don't care. today was kinda good...

I've tried i really tried!! but i felt so bad after eating too much. I had to do it again. This is not normal, i know it right, I'm sick of myself. It hurts sooo fucking much, i want to disappear!

Mom keeps telling me I'm not good. She is right I'm a failure..she wants to punish me. Is that what i deserve? Too much pressure in school and about this whole university shit...i don't get love, I want to die...I cut myself again, I'm bleeding right now, I'm not psycho, I'm just sad, too sad.

I'm over this fucking exam. It was terrible, i think i will fail. And tests next week!! I don't  want i don't want!! I hate it all. Tell me I'm not useless....

School has started. It's really terrible, I've got many bad grades in these days...stupid teachers! Sophie says she didnt reply to my calls and texts cause she didn't want to communicate with anyone. Ok, we don't have to be friends anymore, but i missed you so much...Mom hates me for dying my hair. She says I'm ugly, haha like i didn't know it before. New Year's was good. Well, it was really bad, but with a few glasses of drink it was okay. Will I die alone?